come winter <3

Oh ilove this weather!
It just makes the feeling better.
The smile stays on my face.
And never goes away.
Its just something about it that feels so right.
I've never had a doubt in mind.
Love always seems to come around this time.
Don't get me wrong summer love is strong too.
But never as good as winter lovin.

Ohhh come winter<3

Woowhoo. Tmrws dec 1st!!!!
24days tilll christmas (:

hmm...

This weekend was way UNEXPECTED !

In too many ways..good and bad.
Drove too many places and met alota ppl!
Hah imissed crystal soo much! It was funn chillin with her! Gahd imet soo many people! Ha
Ithink I introduced her to maybe 1 person? James!
Lol that was random too. Way random..
Hmm..anywhooo..

I've had a lot on my mind.
Istill do. &thinkin about it all just makes me mad. Bec ioverthink! Tooo much! :/
It even gets to the point where ithink of somethin and ijuss get sick to my stomach.its lik imake mysef sick? idunoo ..?
Im angry at myself for so many things.
But ill get over iguess?

Music makes me feel a little bit better.

Just a little tho.

Peace.<3.:\

-abc.

life

Life

Is.great.long.crazy.mysterious.good.bad.
Suspensful.sad.exciting.depressing.happy.
It's all types of adjectives. Its worth soo much tho. But people tend to take that for granted. Not knowing what their doing. It can be so precious.
Ireally understood that today. Ihave a lot to live for.alota times ihardly even realize it..iwas brought here for a reason.everyone was really. Ijust wish icould understand life better? Idk if that makes sense.. It does but hmm..its sad that u have to go thru something or see something that makes u realize how precious life is.ithank God iwoke up this morning. Every morning. Every moment in life counts. We juss dnt realize it. How many times do ihavta say that? Iguess more than ikno. Ilearned a really good lesson today..im just THANKFUL! So thankFUL to have all that ihave. Iguess that was the point of the day? Its taken me 17yrs to figure this out. How sad is that? ...
Ialways hear ppl say 'fml' really tho?
Some people pray that they will wake up the next day,not knowing if their gonna live.if its an illness or something else..just knowing u might not live one more day..that'd be crazy to even imagine..
Life and death are two things that everyone will eventually go thru. We may not want to witness a loved ones death but it will happen. Ialways thought how it'd be to die. Its something that will just happen. Just all these thoughts that go thru my head about it all..life is not short. Idont understand why people say life is short.
Bec its not at all.
Its the longest thing we will go thru besides eternity. Does that make sense? But im glad for it. Irealized all the things ithink r so important aren't so important after all.like money.or shoes or clothes. Or even this phone.. More like my family and friends. Bec that's all ireally have...until its my time. But for now..im greatful &iguess ijust realized..

Life's just one big emotion that we can never figure out..and never take it for granted.
Bec God could change things for you overnite..


Peace<3(:
-manda.

that's what im here for.

so this break, has been the most random out of all breaks.
well so far. im sure it;ll get more random as tha days pass..but......

seems lik more and more people keep coming to me with their problems,
and iLOVEiT! not saying any names.
but i've gotten 3 random text messages from people that "arent happy"
lol well one of em worded it differently but lets not start on that one. lol
anywho...lately they've all been about relationships.. iwould think i'd be the last person to run to.
lol seeing as icant keep one. but...idk ijust feel like everyone should be happy with life.
with or without someone, and for some people its just hard.
if its not having a bf/gf or having one and just arguing with them all the time.
onet thing i've said to ALL 3 people today is "be patient" gahd D: lol
really tho. that's all it takes, ipromise it'll get you far.
okay now im starting to sound like dr. phil, but ipromise that's not where im tryna go with this.
lol but now is the time when people needa start realizing WHO and WHAT they have.
dont take it for granted! because ipromise you, will day you will regret it.
and when you do realize that you regret it. you will miss it.
and you wont be happy. but lik isaid, time tells all. patience is the virtue :D lol
but ah, life will always have some curvy or bumpy ass roads, or maybe its just your tires that need changing? gahd, ilove me some metaphors! ha, but if you get what iim sayin than you've got a message out of this. lol idoubt anyone reads these but hey, ilove it still.
there's much more to say but no time. lol
ha but one day iwill get paid to counsel people :) doing it for free will still make me love it as much as ialready do, besides the shiny pennies today, this was the last highlight of my day from one of my ..hmm.. wat is the word? patients? lol well this was the highlight :) "okay thanks counselor, i can come free though cause i need this often."


MY PLEASURE (:

get a hold of yourself, you say..

man. this is starting to be aproblem for me. :/
overthinking. gahd. ido it too much.
ithink more when im bored tho?
and ihave no one to talk to or keep me company , ya kno?
bec ikno im not the only one who does that..
gahd. isay that word alot[gahd] ..
but yea. iwish to be happier.
bec im not happy the way iwanna be.
iguess this is how it feels to be lonely?
im being selfish.
my bad. but you just dont know.
gahd. this isnt cute.


peace?

-_-

okay so,,

last night iwas on some random typa shit.
dont ask. bec ireally dont wanna talk about it.

gahd. my dad's gettin on my fuckin nerves!
ireally dont wanna be bothered with right now.
asshole!!!!!!!

sorry..

for being an asshole.
im practically thinking out looud...
none of this will make sense..
ikno you dont know me. and idont know you at all.
we know some of the same few people..
but not litterally ever met or talked ..
but man.. im sorry for judging you and not knowing you.
:/ and ifeel really bad now.
i've been realizing soo much alot lately..
and its sad that ihavta realize it this way.
except thanks to raul, he definately knocked some sense into me...
but man isee wat ihave and im gonna stop taking it for granted.
i've learned my lesson..
real shit's goin on around me in the world,
&im worried about tha dumbest stuff..
but like isaid. im sorry.
ihope you can get thru it..

this makes no sense like isaid.
but gah. istill feel bad.
:/ sorry. forgive me?

just weight

man.
icant believe it.
ireally cant.
that icould be so ignorant.. :/
iwasted so much time. ikno i've said it once before..
but this time ireally realized it! thanks to raul..
gahd :( ithink i'll take Rome's advice..
he said let love come to me. im tired of lookin for it.
and gettin hurt.. how could ilet someone play me for a fool?
really.. thats all it was. just lust.and being used..
asshole. iwanna say ihate you. but iknow idont.
:/ sad thing is, ikept lettin myself believe it was okay.
when it wasnt..at all! but im glad ihave those friends..
the friends that'll let me know whats goin on isnt right..
so thanks raul & adrianna.. those names just look so right together..
lol but anyways.. thanks(:

iluhhyuuguys.<3
thanks for everything.
thanks for bein there even when ididnt wanna listen.
but hopefully you've knocked some sense into me.
dont let me believe somethin ikno isnt right. even when itry to make myself.
gahd, will it eever end tho?


peace<3

gah

Ifeel so down. :(
Maybe its the weather?
Ineed comforting..
Iwish he was with me.
But he's not.
Ineeda stop daydreamin.
Someone talk to me....
Shit. Fugg it. Im off.


Peace?

why cant i?!

Jus tell em how much istill care.&that imiss him?
Oh gahd. This is not fun.
My emotions are under construction. Lol
Until he decides he wants me again..
But im not getting put on hold.
Iwait for no one!
Lik gahh theres other guys nd stuff..but man.
Idk for some reason..istill want him.
Smeone asked a god question yesterday,
'can u love someone too much and it'd be completely impossible for the them to b together?'
Saddd thing is. That's the situation igot myself into..geez. Tie yur sneakers already boy!
Bec im not waiting anymore.

just u n' me

give me your own special smile,
promise you'll never leave mehh.


gah. ilove that song.
lol
iwish ihad a boy with his sneakers tied,
which would make him a man, so yea.. lol
[insider]
but ineed one of those.

no one interesting is on myspace. lame

gah, so isaw somethin a minute ago, that KINDA TRIPPED ME OUT.
gay,.
which doesnt put a smile on my face.
it just makes me think alot.
man iover think wayyyyyyy to much. shit.
not cool.





im feelin quite peachy.
haha.

talk to me people.
iam alive!

-panda.

I wanna be forever young.

oh gahd.

so istill cant figure out why icant be mean to him?!
gahd. idk. he's stupid.
im stupid for letting him do me how he did me.
but hopefully he realizes shit.
suprisingly ihope the best for him.

but ima miss him.
:/

cake.


gahd. and whatshisface is supposedly havin a kid?
:/

shit.


USE A FUCKIN CONDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!


school is so boring.
iwish icould get on twitter.
the fone ihave is not smart at all.
lmao mom needst hurry and give me the other one.
she swears im patient. lol



im ready for my itouch fiiiiiiiiiii :D


oh yess.


iwonder if anyone ever reads this?
&iwonder, if you kno,
what it means,what it means.
&iwonder if you kno.

lol bustin out with kanye's oldschool.
fuck that nigga. lol


im out.
PEACE<3

ahh!

What is up with the blogspot? Seriously?!

man o man

So this weekend... Sadly it wasnt as great as i convinced myself it would be. Which sucks... It's sad how someone can disappoint you so bad... But it's even worse when 2 ppl you care for can disappoint you in the same damn weekend... I'm just glad i'm more aware of things.. Bec if not i'd still be lookin stupid. But gah. Using me? What an ass. You deserve nothing from me. Go on with your ain't shit nigga life!! Bec your really not worth any of my time.. I'm becoming more patient. So i'm just waiting for the right one to come along. But you obviously were nothing close to that..whatever tho. LIFE IS GOOD :)

whoa,

life is great?
:)

shit,,

what did ijust say?!
iknew iwas gonna contradict myself.
:(
how did this smiley face turn into a frown?
ikno how.


man..
things will never go my way.
ikno wats goin on.....
ijust wanna kno one thing?


but iguess fugg it now?


off.

say it!

so as isit here and thinkk all ican picture is you in my head.
damn things are goin so crazy for me. lik a good crazy and bad.
but idk ifeel as if somethings holding me back from what iwant?
but thats kind of impossible.. ah shit. ima bouta start contradicting myself.
anywho.. ilike this dude. but the old one all of a sudden decides to come back?
ah shit. this always seems to happen at the wrong time.
just when things are great... but its all happening for a reason?
iwish ihad some words of wisdom.. hmm... ill take teddys and jusst say
" SHUT UP AMANDA, JUST SHUT UP" lol sounds good.
too bad icant. mann iguess patience is the key to this problem?
mannnn......... iluhhhyuuu(:
ha

omann. iwas goin thru some of my old stuff and ifound this poem iwrote
back in lik 9th grade! some crazyy stuff! ha..
sad thing is iremember sittin there writin it..
stupid raymond. lol but it was pretty thrOwed.
iwish icould still write lik that..
dang.

all ikno is.
iwant you!(:





peace!